On Killing Bugs

Throughout the years I have wrecked much havoc over the insect world. Just yesterday I saw a small insect meandering across the stairs in front of my house. I saw it, considered it not dangerous, then considered it some more. Then I smushed it underneath the soul of my fancy schmancy slippers. I stopped and thought for a few moments how many bugs I so casually crushed the life out of. There's the bugs in ones home, spiders, skeeters, etc. Fuck them. The multitude of nasty ass roaches I mashed, smacked and poisoned throughout my two decades of city living.

Then I thought of all the bugs, like the one on the steps, murders without a second thought. That lead me to think of a life with no killing whatsoever. Like a Buddhist monk never even uprooting a plant to eat it, only consuming that which will live on after my meal. Is the point of that philosophy to live one life with as clear a conscience as possible? Or is it some form of extreme self control.

Ie; It is very difficult and requires much discipline, so can I do it? Can I maintain this path at all costs? Or is it total and utter bullshit like some (not all, so shut the fuck up) of the hybrid bicycle eco macro vegans who seem to know nothing about their chosen path of gastronomic spartan aestheticism because the real, unstated goal, is to wield an organic hammer of superiority?

I strive to live as unassuming, considered and non destructive life as I can but that is based on my own personal moral compass and version of ethics, not some twisted version of my own ten commandments that states none shall have no Gods before mine, the none actually translated as me. Yes, I am always trying to clear my conscience, but not as a tool or weapon or a way of keeping up with the Joneses. The Joneses can summarily blow me as individuals or collectively. For me it's about maintaining peacefulness within myself.

I strive not to play power games, to satisfy my innate curiosity and expand my intellect, to pursue my creative impulses unimpeded, obtain and maintain a satisfying romantic life and to leave few useless footprints. However I enjoy a nice Burger now and then. More now than then. There is often a bit of pang when I do things I know others suffer because of, but Man has a thirst to be quenched and occasionally others must bleed. I am not perfect, I can never be, and by the way Asswipe, neither can you.